Painful Self-Journey of Losing my Hope to Heal until…
Hola Faithful Warriorz,
So, let’s talk about The Best Advice for healing.
Is there such a thing as The Best of The Best advice when it comes to healing? I mean, there are plenty of good advice/tips out there in books, from other’s personal experiences, and through inspirational quotes that will or could help you get through life’s struggles. Yet, as we’re all unique individuals, like our fingerprints, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to grieving, coping, adjusting, learning, or healing. Sure, there may be some similar (swoops) styles, (swirls) ideas, or (curves) ways, but it won’t be 100% identical. You just have to find what works for you.
In past years, within my self-journey, I tried a few methods to help get me through. Unfortunately, they were more like band-aids, masking my healing as a temporary fix. Some did slightly help, but not enough to completely heal me. Sometimes the pain was too easily triggered, and that I did not want. Remembering the reason
for the pain will never be forgotten, but to forget the feel of the pain is what I want to be forgotten. I even try combining methods to add extra healing because it was becoming pain over pain. All this is what made me realize I needed something more in my life to heal properly or completely. These other methods were merely suppressing my feelings, not allowing me to fully release every needed emotion. It felt like I was pushing myself to heal instead of allowing myself to heal. All because I wanted to stop feeling. The restless nights and endless thoughts were overwhelming me, even to the point of taking my last breath. Every imaginable question and doubt came to mind.
After some time and self-discovery, I figured out what was missing or more like what changed. What may have worked for me once did not necessarily work twice, because I was not the same person mentally nor emotionally. At first, I thought that I was beyond repair. Nothing was going to fix me. I was going to stay damaged for the rest of my life which began to impact my mental health, making me feel helpless and hopele
ss. Plus, other side effects like non-existent confidence. No trust in others, much less myself. Keeping myself to myself so nobody could use me against me.
Finallllly, I came across an interesting tip of advice and my process was found. It helps me get through the process of healing and feeling every needed emotion. It actually came along at a good period in my life as I was growing my spiritual side. I felt that maybe I was fighting the wrong battles or the wrong way. I was pleading the wrong prayer. I was praying for a bridge to go over the deep waters and rivers of difficulty. When I should have prayed for strength to go through the deep waters for He was always there at my side. To pray for courage to go through the rivers of difficulty for I was to never drown.
Needless to say, I found what works for me, through what I call My 72-hour pre-detox to heal. Of course, along with my Faith.
So, I give myself 3 days to grieve (detox). By the 4th day, I’m completely healed. Just kidding, but wishful, I’m sure.
Anyway, I allow myself 3 days to feel E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Every single emotion while soaking myself (and my pillow) with my tears and drowning in junk food…I mean, whatever YOU need to do to GO THROUGH IT!!! (Note: No self-harm or harm to others.) This is my detox stage that helps to cleanse my mind, heart, and soul. A great kick-start to bring my inner peace back by making less room for the negative junk and more room for the positive stuff.
Side note: During the first 3 days, don’t make any rash decisions for it will be based on your emotions. You don’t wanna add any (or additional) regrets to the mix.
Now, the 4th day is the most important step for me. This is the day I make a move. I don’t care what that move is, just do it. Get your beautiful, strong self out of that bed or off the couch. Clean yourself up. Go outside to let the warmth of the sun embrace you and dry your tears. Listen to music to drown out those endless thoughts. Do something to get your body moving and your mind going. Don’t sit around with idle hands nor a mind.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that I’m not still a ball of emotions, but it starts to loosen my gears to get them going for my healing process. Day 4 helps me to not stay stuck in those first 72 hours because those hours are the most intense rollercoaster of emotions, doubts, and possibly confusion. I still allow myself to feel what I need to and for as long as I need to. Yet, I feel with a purpose. I feel knowing that this is a part of the process. I feel myself becoming a stronger and better version. I feel my inner peace slowly growing back in me.
You see, this process sets me up for better healing, not faster but complete healing. It prepares me for the next unfortunate event because now I’m equipped to know the inner strength and confidence I’ll need.
Just remember, there are plenty of other methods. Yet, try to keep in mind, when healing, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Don’t feel guilty or shame for feeling certain emotions.
Feel it. Express it. Move through it.
(Side note: Express without harming yourself or others.)
If needed, reach out to someone you trust. Again, no shame for mental health is important. Don’t stay in silence.
Remember, there is no limit to how long it takes you to heal but do limit yourself to when you start to heal…
