The Lies you Plant (beLIEve) will Grow

Hola Faithful Warriorz ~

I know I’m not the only one to ever wonder…

How many times, within a day, do you give in to that voice in your head?

How many times have you allowed that voice to infest your thoughts?

How many of those infested thoughts have you believed?

        Sometimes, we give too much credit to certain things, thoughts, and/or people. We make ourselves believe in a lie. Remember, what hides within the word “believe”…”lie” = BElieVE. Now, don’t get it twisted and start thinking that “believe” is a negative word because of the hidden word. Instead, change your mindset into NOT seeing a lie in what you believe in…like yourself. Overcome, that voice to not allow it to infest your thoughts.

I know. I know this is easier said than done. I know you may have others feeding into your insecurity, making you believe that you’re unworthy, or even to the degree of questioning your existence. This is where YOU MUST take a stand and remember that God created all of us with a purpose. No matter the circumstances of how you came into this world or what you been through in life. It all could possibly be your untold story, your testimony, or even a beacon of hope for the next person suffering in silence. 

There comes a time in everyone’s life when enough is enough. When you have to take back control of your life – of your mind. Start believing in yourself and stop believing the lies. Sometimes, the hardest thing we have to do is let go of anything or anyone that is truly toxic to you. This was another lesson I learned, that nearly cost me my sanity. We, as humans, just want to be loved, wanted, and desire so bad that we become blind to certain things and/or accept toxic behavior.

Trust me, I’ve been there.

My mind – my thoughts…used to be my worst enemy. It was those close to me that hurt me, betrayed me, and made me felt like I died a thousand deaths. As I mentioned in a previous blog Thick Black Line of Life, I started doubting my worth around the age of 5/6. That is when the seed of negativity was planted, and I watered it by believing all the lies. Trust became my biggest insecurity which fed the enemy – my mind. I lived many, many years with a lie, and I suffered for it in many ways.

Everything about me was based on other’s beliefs, opinions, and words. My own didn’t seem to matter. I saw myself through and from the eyes of others, not mine. I loved myself as long as everyone else loved me. I wanted nothing more than to give life to others even if that meant depleting from mine.

Somewhere along the way during this journey of my life, I lost sight of His vision because I was focusing on the wrong things, infested thoughts, and/or everyone else. Allowing my pain, my doubts, my circumstances, and my distorted vision to magnify the lies overlooking His unconditional and forgiving love for me.

Well, ‘overlook’ may not be the correct word to express how I felt because it was more that I felt undeserving of His love.

Within time, everything grew more and more out of focus. Little by little, my life was feeling off-track making me lose interest in things I used to enjoy. I became consumed being someone that wasn’t me. The real me hid, like a scared little girl, in the deepest and darkest cave she could find in me. Life was just becoming too fearful that the only comfort was the dark for it hid what I didn’t want others to see or see myself.

Often times, we lose faith in God (and ourselves) because of the struggles and pain we go through. Yet, He never promised our lives will be without trial and tribulations, but He did promise to never leave us, to not allow us to drown nor let the fire burn us. He promised a rainbow after every storm. Let’s be honest, for a moment.

Would you even know or have compassion without knowing pain?
Would you be able to recognize love without knowing hate?
Would you truly believe in God without knowing the enemy?

A hard reality to face or accept is that WE actually leave Him. I used to feel safe hiding within the darkness before I realize His love and purpose for me was – is greater than any pain I suffered, greater than any abuse I endured, and greater than any shame I lived. I realized I was no longer safe in the dark and it was time to be seen and heard…